hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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