Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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