yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
