are you so shy because you have an std?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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