I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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