the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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