Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He passed out mid-signature
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
