i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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