is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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