My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
