Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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