Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
