Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
