come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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