Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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