The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
only if we run a train.
done.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
