Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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