your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize