I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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