how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
