yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
