Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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