She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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