So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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