He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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