Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
