i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
