Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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