This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
