i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
