the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
