I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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