When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's blow job season.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
