Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
