Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
