Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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(212): View more from New York

Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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(703): View more from Virginia

Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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(419): View more from Ohio

Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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(310): View more from California

I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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(619): View more from California

I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.

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