I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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