Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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