My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
