he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
