Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
