Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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