She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize