I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize