do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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