Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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