escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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