Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
