Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
