I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
