found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
