Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
