You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
