the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
