To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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