OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
