well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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