I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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