Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ugly people sure do ruin things
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
