he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
