We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
