At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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